As I mentioned in my last post, I haven’t really been feeling enthusiastic about outfit-blogging, or blogging in general, really. But when I’d got dressed this morning and looked in the mirror, I realised that I looked so like me I wanted to record the outfit.
I like clothes when I feel like I’m playing with them and having fun, and I just haven’t been in that kind of playful mood lately. I think things are getting a bit better, though. I have been trying to follow the advice of my CBT programme and plan to do things that will be fun, and while at first it was really hard to believe that I would have the energy for any of it I have surprised myself by how much I can do, and how much I enjoy it. I think I may even be needing slightly less sleep.
I started very small, with sitting down at my piano and playing for half an hour for the first time in ages. I’m not sure I’m ever going to be able to play anything more difficult that the first section of “Für Elise” but I still really enjoy it.
I met up with friends; while I was on holiday I had a lovely day in Norwich with one friend who lives near there and another who came up from London to meet us, and another lovely afternoon in Bristol with two localish friends and H, who lives in Dundee but was there for a conference. (I am so grateful for all my lovely internet friends, who are both there in my computer whenever I need them and prepared to go to reasonable amounts of effort to manage the occasional meeting in real life – I’m sure some people would think going all the way to Bristol and back for a coffee was a bit mental, but more fool them.) And then of course there was the yarn crawl, which was very social but huge amounts of fun. And I’m still going to the knitting group, and appear to have quite a lot of other social things on the horizon now.
We went to see the Duckworth Lewis Method the evening after the yarn crawl, and they were fantastic, and such fun, so I listened to their albums on the way to Bristol, and then I listened to something else, and now I’ve started listening to music again regularly, and remembered how happy it can make me. Why on earth did I stop? (Probably because when I was in the depths of depression it felt like the music was mocking my inability to feel anything.)
I have been using my light box this week, as well, and that does seem to make a difference. Maybe I really am getting somewhere this time…